Think differently

An ongoing demonstration of creativity.

Far be it from me to advocate spending any more time on FaceBook than you currently do, but have you seen this page.

Different Solutions is the page that stops me every time I try to go cold turkey on FB. Similar to Clutter Clearer which I previously mentioned, Different Solutions posts fabulous ideas for just about everything. Today’s haul includes pictures of hair braided into letters of the alphabet, some shabby chic bangle bracelets made out of the seam of an old pair of jeans, bird houses made of cowboy boots, all kinds of fascinating uses for wooden pallets and tires and—many, many things.

There are few captions and some of them are in languages other than English. I could wish, too, that the things that look like actual products rather than crafts would have a link to a vendor. But, over all, the page is a whack on the side of the head, prompting you to think more creatively about pretty much everything around you.

Not everything posted is something I would want or something I am capable of making, but enough of it is that I will not be able to leave Facebook entirely unless and until Different Solutions gets a web page of its own. (Meantime, I’m going to be forced to look into those FB-blocking apps, I think, because it is time to get back to work!)

Half

Is pretty darn good.

I’m talking about Half.com.

Half.com is an eBay company.

It didn’t use to be. I mean, it used to be all on its own, and then it was bought. So far, I don’t see much difference either for the better or the worse.

The idea is that used books and movies and games and music can be sold by those who are done with them to those who haven’t seen them yet. It’s evolved so that there are a number of vendors there, as well.

It’s saved me countless hours searching garage sales and flea markets and library book sales for hard-to-find volumes. Right now, I’m working on a project (Round Robin Shakespeare) for which I need a number of copies of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

75 cents on Half.com.

Plus postage, of course, which is where they get you, but so far, at least, it’s reasonable postage—within what one would expect an item to ship for—even when the postage does exceed the item’s cost.

That always seems wrong—until you realize you just got five copies of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare for under $5 bucks apiece. (Do you know how heavy those things are?!)

So far, I’ve only ever bought from Half. If and when I get my house in better order, I might branch out into selling. (If this project falls apart, I’m gonna have five copies of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare to unload.)

I’ve also never bought anything but books. The DVDs are tempting sometimes, but I’m leery of used DVDs. Even my new DVDs don’t always play smoothly. And I’m even more leery of the potential for bootlegged copies. I may try it at some point, though, if the price is sufficiently tempting, the seller reviews sufficiently strong, and the item sufficiently hard to find elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I’m just thankful I was able to get those five copies of Shakespeare without taking out a mortgage. Of course, if I had taken out a mortgage and fell into foreclosure, I could always use them to build a house. (Do you realize how much space those things take up?!)

Scatter-shot advertising

Otherwise known as spam

This blog has, after all these months, finally come to the attention of the spammers. I’ve deleted numerous comments offering to extend my reach as a blogger as well as a lot that were just excuses to post somebody’s URL. It’s not that I mind if a legitimate comment includes some reader’s actual URL. It’s just that I don’t really think all my readers have any great interest in knock-off designer luggage touted by some poster that talks about what “rattling good content” some entry is that I’ve made with what is primarily a YouTube link and a little introductory text.

So, what I’m wondering is does this actually work? Are there really bloggers who don’t see through these posts and don’t trash them before they appear? Are there really readers who will click on one of these links—with I-don’t-know-what consequences? Are there enough of them that this spambot stuff is a lucrative proposition?

Really?

Once upon a time, I had a temp job working for a department in a very large company whose primary function seemed to be to generate and oversee mass mailings of offers of additional services to their customers. Otherwise known as “junk mail.” Back then, there was a lot of talk about response rate. A 2% response rate was considered excellent. Volume was key.

This email stuff has the advantage to the sender of not costing them postage or paper. But spam filters catch a lot of it. So, now, I guess we have this other avenue. Wacky, semi-literate comments on blogs from spambots.

As a result, there are a number of solutions evolving to distinguish the real from the fake comments and to block the spammers.

It gives me a lot of satisfaction to learn about and employ as many of them as possible.

But I still wonder—wouldn’t it be easier just to make a product that was so good people wanted to buy it? It would probably end up in the blog posts, then, not tossed out as a useless comment.

Respond

Just do it.

Lately, I have encountered an epidemic of people who don’t seem to respond. Not to emails, not to phone calls. And I’m not talking about your Aunt May who won’t get an answering machine and doesn’t remember things too well anyway.

I’m talking about tradesmen. People I might want to hire.

I’m talking about government officials. People whose job it is to impart information and handle problems.

I’m talking about people who have asked for and received help from me and don’t acknowledge it.

There are a lot of people who do respond, who return calls and emails and thanks and good energy of all sorts. Sometimes they even respond with negative energy, like “I can’t do that job until a week from Tuesday,” or “Thank you for sending your play but it doesn’t meet our production needs right now,” or “We’re sorry, but your car needs a new transmission.” (Fortunately, I haven’t heard that last one lately.) All of those are less than desirable outcomes, but they are, at least, resolutions.

And there are, rarely, people who have good and sufficient reasons for not responding.

In general, though, there aren’t that many good reasons, and the world moves too fast these days for failure in this area not to actively hurt your chances at success—no matter what you do.

So, my tip is this: Make a rule. Answer every email and phone call within 24 hours. Maybe you can’t give a definitive answer to whatever question is on the table, but you can say so, can’t you? “Got your email. I have to check a few things. I’ll get back to you on that.” How hard is that? And how hard is it to say when you’ll get back and then to do it?

I’m not talking about the phone calls and emails from telemarketers and spammers, or even the just-checking-in messages from friends and relatives, who presumably will allow a little leeway and aren’t depending on an answer before some project or other can move forward.

But for everything else—respond!

Everybody has busy, busy lives.

Surely, we could make them a little less busy for each other if we just stop making people chase us.

Brush up your Shakespeare

Start quoting him now*

I am very happy to announce the launch of Round Robin Shakespeare!

We’re going to embark on Thursday, March 21st, on a 3 year mission to read the entire canon of Shakespeare’s plays aloud. All of them!

This is a community project, open to anyone in the area, organized by me (!) in association with the Clay County Public Library. I am especially pleased to be doing this with the Library because my grandmother was the very first employee of the Clay County Library system. She put the first books on the first shelves, and she worked there for decades. I rode the bookmobile with her when I was seven.

I never thought I would be living here in the area of my grandparents’ farm—I was only a summer visitor throughout my life until now—and I certainly never thought I’d be working with the library. It does almost seem like fate, however.

Anyway, I think this is going to be fun!

I have a lot of work to do. Press releases, reaching out to local high schools and community theatres, maybe senior centers. I’m thinking a notice on Craigslist and maybe a Meetup. Certainly, I need to set up a Facebook page. If you’ve got any other suggestions for getting the word out, perhaps you could post a comment.

I have faith that this will go well once I get over the initial announcement hurdle. It may start small, but I think there will be enough interest to keep us going until we make it through all 38 plays. (Some people say 37, but I intend to be large-minded and inclusive about this.) The big hurdle will be getting folks out to the first meeting. I really hope I don’t have to do a solo rendition of Henry VI. For everybody’s sake, we’ll hope a future Monday Miracle post reports massive attendance for Part 1 of Henry and Round Robin Shakespeare!

* Cole Porter, Kiss Me Kate

See Brush Up Your Shakespeare in concert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJIpp2Jj8AQ

Mr. and Mrs.

Smith, of course.

Another Smith by marriage, Jada Pinkett Smith joined the Smith tribe when she married actor, producer, rapper Will Smith.

She’s an actor, singer, songwriter, writer, businesswoman and mother of two.

I confess that I did not know much about Ms. Smith (and still don’t, really) until I stumbled across a quote of something she said in response to criticism and questions as to why she and her husband had let their twelve year old daughter cut her hair in a particular way. Something about that resonated with me.

Here’s the quote that apparently originated on Facebook:

The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.

What’s also really cool is Mr. Smith’s response to the same question asked by Parade Magazine:

We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? If I teach her that I’m in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she’s going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she’s going out with a command that is hers.

So, I’m going to be following Mr. and Mrs. Smith from now on, I think. Because I approve this message.

You quack me up!

Jokes, jokes, jokes!

“You quack me up” is a tag line on the joke section of the Ducksters website. Ducksters is a site for kids.

(Common sense warning: Don’t let your kids explore the internet unsupervised. Remember, even a previously kid-friendly website can change hands—and content.)

That said, Ducksters is—currently—a site for kids with lots of fun content. Today being a Silly Saturday, however, I’m going to direct you to the Jokes section. Most especially, you want to go to the Silly Jokes section,. There are other fun jokes in other parts of the website, but this particular section—you’ll be wondering where the rimshots are.

Just a sample—in honor of my nephew:

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Ba-dum-bum

Anti-

Hero

The term “anti-hero” is defined as a protagonist who lacks the nobility of mind, spirit and action that generally characterizes a hero.

Meet John Dortmunder.

Dortmunder is the main character of some 14 novels by Donald E. Westlake.

He’s a burglar.

He’s not a very good burglar, although he generally comes out okay in the end. He doesn’t usually gain much money, but he manages to stay out of jail. So far (I’ve read five of the books to date), he hasn’t killed anybody (unlike the previously reviewed Jack Reacher who is more of a traditional “good guy”—with, it must be said, quite a few anti-heroic qualities of his own).

It’s hard to describe these books. Westlake’s plots are among the most inventive I’ve ever seen. He has a gift for idiosyncratic characters and for letting their behavior reveal their personalities. Sometimes, you think he’s teetering on the brink of caricature—oh, who am I kidding? He’s not teetering; he’s dangling over the edge of the abyss—but he always manages to drag himself back up the cliff. His similes and metaphors are quirky and surprisingly apt.

Dortmunder and his gang get involved in the most insane capers. In many respects, these are screwball comedies on paper (or Kindle, as the case may be). I read them with a kind of breathless amazement as they set out to do a simple heist and end up stealing whole trains. They are, perhaps, a little overly blessed by unusually inattentive and downright dumb police officers, but by the time that happens, I’m usually so involved in the intricacies of the whole plan that I am not one to quibble over how poor sad sack Dortmunder manages to escape his just deserts this time.

There have been a few films made based on these novels. I’ve seen none of them. In one, Robert Redford played Dortmunder—which leads me to surmise that the script was based so loosely on the book as to be unrecognizable, or somebody executed the most egregious casting error in the history of film. Although I have to admit to curiosity, which, when you get right down to it, is probably a big part of what keeps me reading these wacky books.

How’s it going to come out? is what I keep asking myself.

You will, too.

Elaine Smith Writes

Anything She Wants

Monthly Archives: February 2013