Another way to improve your descriptions.

So, we’ve been talking–intermittently–about descriptive writing.  I believe it started with me mentioning that I don’t think I’m very good at it.  Then, last Tuesday’s Tip was the I look up and I see… exercise.

Today, I have another exercise for you.  Once again, I don’t remember where I got it and will have to add that information if and when I can.

The idea is this:

Take a scene, a setting, and describe it twice in such a way that the passage will convey completely different moods.  You might use words that impart a sense of danger and dread in one iteration and then sketch the same scene in joyful and exhilarating terms.

For example, here’s some practice writing I did for this exercise.  Try not to consider this the best example of my work, okay?  It’s just to give you an idea of how to explore this.  In this case, it’s two descriptions of the same boat ride:

1. Hundreds of rolling wavelets marched toward her like an advancing army, broken only when the jet ski roared by.  Looking at the dark slice it cut through the gun-gray water, her heart beat in sudden panic.  That chainsaw buzzing of the motor. . . .the accompanying sound of the dozens of horror movies she and Eddie had watched in their teens.  Maybe it was that subliminal memory of blood and gore that was making her feel queasy and not the unstable floor beneath her feet rocking and rising and falling with every shudder of wind and water, giving her the sensation of an earthquake’s aftershock.

2.  Hundreds of rolling wavelets marched toward her like a crowd of eager children on parade, the procession broken only when the jetski bounced across the shimmering wake bubbling out aft.  Looking at the gray-green line the other craft sketched through the green-gray sea, her heart lifted.  The darker patch was there in the water, in her life, but it was behind her now, and she was free of it.  Maybe it was that subliminal sense of liberty that made the simple act of balancing on the gentle rise and fall of the deck as exhilarating as surfing.

So, any purple prose aside, do you get the idea?  Give it a shot.  And if you’d like to share the results, feel free to post your work in the comments.

Happy Writing!