Elaine Smith Writes

Anything She Wants

Now THAT would be silly!

So, I didn’t do it.

Somewhere, round about November of last year, I decided that inaugurating Silly Saturdays would be a good way to ease the burden of finding topics for the blog.  You see, I had assigned themes to Monday through Friday but left the weekends open for “write what you want” inspiration to strike.

The trouble was that inspiration did not always strike.  I have found that the fish of inspiration prefers the bait of a few guidelines rather than the empty hook of unlimited choice.

Thus, Silly Saturdays was born, and I have had a lot of fun finding the various sillinesses I have posted.

You may have wondered, however—if you spent that much time on it—whether I was spending all my time scouring the internet for silly things.  (I wonder that myself about George Takei’s Facebook page.)

And I did spend quite a bit of time on it.  More, actually, than is conducive to productivity.

But not all my time.

Quite a few of the silly sites I posted were also linked to an amalgamation of silliness to which I now direct you and which will streamline your own search for nonsense and make it possible for you to find useless and time-wasting games with ease.

The title says it all:

PointlessSites.com

You’ll find a few of the silly links I’ve used there already along with many, many more.

Enjoy!

This is not original

But I’m adding my endorsement.

Today’s tip is about something I have resisted for a long time.

I believe I’ve written now and again about wanting to lose some weight and about how moving out of the City to car country has sent my weight climbing in the opposite direction.

For a long time, I resisted the idea that I would have to actually go on a diet.  I thought, maybe, if I could just motivate myself to get back into exercising that would be enough.

Diets don’t have a good reputation.  People keep falling off them.

They don’t have a lot of culinary appeal.  Maybe some of you like cottage cheese, but…. blech!

My sister, however, directed me to myfitnesspal, and it was a most excellent tip!

I am now, for the first time in my life counting calories.  I’ve been doing it for 9 weeks, and I have lost 10 pounds.

Not bad, huh?

Myfitnesspal makes it easy to track your food intake with thousands of entries in their database and an easy interface.

Now, I will say that nutritional content has been a secondary concern for me in the early stages of shedding these pounds, but just out of necessity, I am eating more fruits and vegetables.

1200 calories is an astonishingly small amount of food, you see, compared to the contemporary diet of most people in this day and age.  But, if you eat fruits and vegetables you can eat almost all day—thus, satisfying the “munchies” and still shedding pounds.

But what I like about myfitnesspal is that I can have chips and ice cream so long as I keep them within my calorie budget.  Plus, in an incentive to exercise, you can eat more if you track the calories you’ve burned.  (I’m walking for pizza is a thought that has crossed my mind more than once on the treadmill.)

I’ve got a ways to go, and I might hit a plateau, of course.  I might fail to keep it off.

But I set myfitnessplan goal to lose a pound a week, and I’ve done better than that just by religiously tracking what I eat.  I haven’t felt deprived—in fact, I’ve had ice cream every day.  I’ve never eaten detested “diet” foods, and it’s been remarkably easy.

So, I’m thanking my sister, my other fitness pal, for the tip, and I’m passing it on to you.

You, too, can learn to like

Yogurt

I’m sure that many of you already do.  Like yogurt, I mean.

I, on the other hand, have never been able to acquire a taste for it.  I’m aware of the health benefits, of the low calorie-ness of it.

It’s just that I’m a person for whom texture is more important than taste when it comes to food.  And, let’s face it, yogurt does not have an appealing texture for one who thinks that the four basic food groups are pizza, popcorn, pickles and potato chips.

I have lately embarked on a serious quest to shed some pounds, however.  Consequently, I thought I’d try again to see if there were any yogurt flavors or brands that I could actually bear to swallow.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s likely to become a staple of my diet—although I am starting to appreciate the quickness and portability of it—but the miracle is I think I’ve found one.

Yocrunch Cheesecake-Flavored Yogurt.

It doesn’t taste much like cheesecake. At least, not the delicious Baby Watson Cheesecake of my NYC days.  On the other hand, the calorie count is, like, a million times less.

And it’s crunchy!

Well, not the yogurt itself.  But it comes packaged with some crunchy graham cracker crust bits that you sprinkle into the yogurt, thus providing some welcome relief from the sheer awful smoothness of the yogurt.

A quick 100 calorie snack.

No comparison to pizza.  Or potato chips.  Or even pickles.

But it’s edible.

I even selected it out of the refrigerator by choice today.  The choice was a little more due to the desire for a fast and easy boost to the blood sugar than to a craving for the actual taste, but I did choose it.  And ate it.

And realized that herein lies a miracle.

A yogurt I can stand to eat!

Video games

Sort of.

I am not sure this qualifies for Silly Saturdays.  I mean, I’m not sure it’s silly enough.  There actually might be some redeeming aspects of this game.

Maybe.

You’ll have to try it yourself.

I must warn you.  My highest score has been 8.  On the other hand, I get tired of it quickly.

Those aforementioned redeeming qualities?

Hand-eye coordination, maybe.  Improved perception of spatial relationships?  Increase in your ability to think ahead?

Patience with constant losing?

I don’t know.

See what you think.

Cursor Invisible

The object of the game is to click to break the white circles.  The obstacle is the cursor disappears after about 3 seconds, so you have to guess where it is.

Good luck!

Five minutes

That’s all.

Got a goal you’re having trouble achieving?

See if a timer will help you.

Procrastination.

It’s hard work to write a novel, keep a house clean, make a painting. We don’t like to get started because it commits us to a long process. But most of us can face five minutes of anything.

So, start small.

Write for five minutes.  Dust for five minutes.  Paint for…well, ok, painting might need larger chunks of time.  There’s a lot of prep and a lot of clean-up.  But the principle is the same.

If you set a timer, you have an exit strategy.  You can begin already knowing that you don’t have to continue for the rest of your life.  No matter how horrible the task becomes, there is an end point.

I love timers.

Quite often, when they go off, I am interested and immersed in what I am doing, and I continue on beyond the beep, beep, beep.  But I don’t have to, and that can make all the difference between getting started on something or spending another half day on Facebook.  (Now, there’s another use for a timer.  Use it to limit those time-wasting activities!)

It doesn’t really matter what interval you use in setting the timer.  If you can face thirty minutes of housework, go for it.  The point is just to go into any task for which you are experiencing reluctance with an escape hatch.

Maybe, when the timer goes off, you’ll want to continue.  Maybe not.  Either way, you’re some number of minutes closer to your goal.

You can get timers in any dollar store, Radio Shack, grocery store.  It’s nice to have several actual physical timers that you can keep in strategic areas of the house and move around as necessary.

Until you lay in a supply, however, you can use this one:

E.ggtimer.com

Go ahead.

Start that novel.

Just five minutes.

Harry Smith

Anchors Away.

In 2011, CBS news anchor, Harry Smith, left the network after 25 years to head on over to NBC.  I don’t watch a lot of network news, so I don’t know exactly what or how he’s doing over there, but I do remember him from The Early Show—and many stints as substitute anchor on the evening news.

Researching this post, I’ve discovered some things about Mr. Smith that I never knew and a couple of things we have in common.  We both have an undergraduate degree in theater.  His is a combined communications and theater degree from Central College in Iowa.

And we both spent time in Denver, CO.  In fact, we were there at the same time.  Who knew?!

Harry stayed longer than I did, though.

Subsequently, he spent thirteen years as a contributor to CBS Evening News and other CBS news programming, nine years as co-anchor of CBS This Morning and another nine years with CBS The Early Show along with various documentary, radio and other tv hosting tasks for other networks.

Another thing I didn’t know about him is that, apparently, he regularly commutes to work on a folding bike.

I think that’s kind of cool!

Go, Harry!

 

The time you enjoy wasting

is not wasted time.
~ Bertrand Russell

Which makes this Silly Saturday all the sillier.  Because, of all the pointless sites that I have pointed out to you in this blog, I think this may be the worst.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s not even all that enjoyable—although it does hold a certain strange fascination.  (I’m still trying to figure out what it says at the end of the game, for one thing.)

So, take a look at PressTheSpaceBar if you must and because I haven’t got anything better to show you today.

But please, please, please don’t spend more than a minute or two there.  It has no redeeming qualities other than providing me with an entry for the blog today.

Just think of all the things you could be doing instead.

Take a walk.  Talk to your significant other.  Write a poem, paint a picture, or play something that is actually fun!

Am I thankful?

I think I am.

But I’m not entirely sure.

I’m talking about virtual experiences.

For example, the internet fireplace.

Purists among you will be recoiling in horror, but I rather like digital fireplaces.  I have a DVD with several, and, let me tell you, it was quite a nice accessory a couple of weeks ago when we had a week of wind and rain.  The temperature outside was falling into that never-never-land where it is too warm for the heat to come on and too cold for the a/c to kick in.  Consequently, the atmosphere indoors was damp and cool and uncomfortable as only a Florida season between the extremes can be.

My fireplace DVD was a cozy little addition to the long afternoons spent with my attention divided between books and Netflix and watching the creek rise.  It’s amazing how much of an illusion of warmth is conjured by the sight of dancing flames and the sounds of burning wood.  The actual heat and the smell of wood smoke seem to be secondary to the illusion.  Now, I suspect this is because of years of conditioning to what those sights and sounds accompany.  Future generations may not get the same illusion of comfort from a virtual fireplace as I do.

And, if I had a real fireplace, I would prefer it.  I think.  On the other hand…not to have to chop wood…or clean up soot and ash…or risk burning down the house…. there’s something to be said for that.

We do have a gas fireplace here at Casa Lagarto, but it’s one of those things that was on the verge of disrepair when we got the house and has crossed over.  Unlike the a/c, it is low on the list of things to fix.

So, I am thankful today for the digital hearth.

And I am considering experiments with digital oceans and digital aquariums.  I’d be interested in digital blasted heaths, mountain streams, stone circles, too.

The thing is, I can sort of justify the energy used to play the fireplace as being less than the carbon footprint of an actual fire.  I’m not sure I could say the same for amps for any form of H2O.

So, I guess I’ll just stick to my digital fireplace and be thankful.

Putting the end of the ham

on your car’s wheels.

Apparently, we’re all doing it.

It’s a billion dollar business.

(Well, that might be an exaggeration.  The truth is I don’t know the actual figures for the profit in the hubcap industry, but I’m betting—given the number of cars on the road and the fact that most of them have at least four tires—that it is a significant sector of the economy.)

You may remember, a few weeks ago, a post wherein I was wishing for the Star Trek computer to record a moment by moment account of my life so that I could find the source of used hubcaps we bought some years ago.

Well, along the way to getting that replacement hubcap, I began to wonder why we have hubcaps at all.

I now refer you to Car Talk wherein a valiant attempt is made to justify the existence of hubcaps, but it turns out to be mostly like that old story about the end of the ham.

There are plenty of versions of it floating around.  In essence, it goes something like this:

A new husband asked his bride why she was cutting the end off the ham prior to cooking it.

She replied that she didn’t know.  Her mother had always done it that way, so she assumed it was the right thing to do.

Mom, when asked, replied the same.  Her mother had always done it, so she had carried on discarding a portion of the ham prior to cooking.

Grandma was approached.

Yes, she confirmed.  She had always cut off the end of the ham.

Why?

Because, otherwise, it didn’t fit in her pan.

This, of course, is a cautionary tale about doing things just because they’ve always been done that way.

And, it turns out, that the raison d’être of the hubcap is similar.

Hand-tightened wheel nuts might, if they fell off, clang around in a metal hubcap and alert you to a problem before you lost the actual wheel.  (Many hubcaps today are plastic, so good luck with that.  Plus, most wheel nuts are machine-tightened these days.  Good luck with changing that flat yourself, too.)

Hubcaps might help prevent the nuts from rusting to a point where they are too difficult to remove (assuming you’re going to be able to loosen those machine-tightened things anyway).  The Car Talk boys point out, however, that wheel rotation and brake inspection generally take care of that in a well-maintained vehicle.

That leaves them with the slippery slope argument.  The ‘for want of a nail’ sort of thing.  Missing hubcaps are the first step on a downward spiral where you don’t get the brakes inspected or change the oil.

Generally, however, it sounds like the end of the ham to me.

I wonder on what other things we are spending time and money for some ancient and now irrelevant tradition.  I believe I’ll try to be re-thinking things as I go along.  Sort of wondering on more than Wednesdays, so to speak.

Get in the river.

And let the river roll.

We’ve got such a linear society.

Enter kindergarten at the age of five.  Exit the school system 13, 17, 19 years later with an education (maybe) and a diploma (probably).  Get a job.  Work your way up the ladder.  Go to weddings in your youth, christenings in your middle age, and funerals in your elder years.

We’re sort of conditioned to know how things turn out.

Even the television that we watch tends to support the idea that things get solved within 42 minutes of air time plus commercials.

It can make us reluctant to embark on journeys where the destination is unclear.  Even scarier, there are journeys where we don’t even know if there is a destination.

It might be interesting to try approaching life like the explorers of old.

Henry Hudson didn’t know where the Hudson river came out.  He didn’t even know if it did.  He just set sail to see what he could see.

It’s amazing the things that happen if you just get in the river.

The current catches you.  You move along, sometimes through rapids, sometimes through shallows, but always advancing.  There are moments of great beauty and times when the current holds you up and moves you forward with unexpected support.  There are moments when the flood tide is against you and you wonder what possessed you to get started.

But it’s like the old story about the lady who resisted learning to play the piano in later life.

Do you know how old I will be when I finally learn?, she demanded.

Yes, came the answer.  Exactly the same age as you’ll be if you don’t.

So, today’s tip is to stop waiting to start.  We don’t always know how things come out.

Leap, and the net will appear.  ~ John Burroughs

Get in the river.