Goals

Happy New Year!

Since we’re all making resolutions, here’s a thought:

Make one.

Just one.

I’ve got lists of projects and To Dos and things I want to accomplish and weight I want to lose and goals I want to meet and on and on and on.

My experience has been that most of my resolutions get broken by March. (Who are we kidding? Most of them go out the window by January 5th. But I usually have a few holdouts that make it to March.)

But I’ve been playing around with this idea of just one for a while.

Partly, it comes from a thing the Reader’s Digest was doing—a diet program they were advocating where they suggested Change One as the theme. I don’t remember if it was by the week or by the month, but the idea was that most people can’t stick to the radically altered lifestyle most diets require. Their plan was to change one thing. Start by having a good breakfast every day. That’s all. Once that became a habit, you could change something else.

It makes sense, right? Baby steps.

Then there is the idea of the über goal. Pick one goal that is so huge that it will change your life to accomplish it. Obviously, something like that will have a lot of little goals subordinate to it. But it simplifies the resolution process.

This year, you are going to…write a novel…join the Peace Corps…run for Congress.

I don’t know. I’m not even sure I can take this tip to heart myself. So many things I want to do and accomplish.

But I do think that I might have a better chance of adhering to a resolution if I just pick one. And I bet the process of deciding on what that one should be will be valuable in itself.

Gonna take more than a day, though.

Better get started.

Red Flag / White Flag

One of the keys to getting what you want is knowing what you want.

Here’s an inconvenient truth.

To some extent, what you want is what you have.

Human beings have incredible strength and determination. Through the ages, many of us, most of us, have picked ourselves up from less than ideal circumstances and improved our lot. All of us can do that.

And now, I hear the collective response coming.

Yes, but. . .

Yes, but I don’t have the money to start my own business, buy a house, go to college.

Yes, but my parents won’t let me, my teachers don’t think I can, my boyfriend will leave.

Yes, but I’m just not good enough, I don’t know how, I’m too old, too young, too white, too black.

The most polite response to all that is “Hogwash!”

There are, very rarely, a set of circumstances that truly prevent you from doing some things. There are what they call “Acts of God” that visit death and destruction randomly and unfairly on people.

In almost every other case, people are capable of the most extraordinary things.

“Whenever you think something can’t be done, look at Helen Keller.” *

So many people achieve so much by hard work and persistence.

If you’ve hit a roadblock and you’re talking to friends, relatives, colleagues–your support system–about it, chances are those people will begin to offer suggestions on how to overcome the obstacle. If you hear yourself saying,” Yes, but…” to those suggestions, maybe you need to ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this? Or would I rather watch that TV show, take that nap, eat these cookies.”

It all really comes down to this: What do you want most? The “Yes, but–” can be a legitimate way to think through the issue, explore the possibilities in any suggestion. It can also be an indicator that you aren’t yet ready to do what it takes to get what you want.

Unless what comes after the “Yes, but–” is the phrase “it’s illegal” or “somebody could get seriously injured,” the “Yes, but–” is a red flag of danger.

Don’t let it be a white flag of surrender.

* Mr. Self Development

Elaine Smith Writes

Anything She Wants

Tag Archives: Goals

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Yes, but–