Elaine Smith Writes

Anything She Wants

A double miracle

New glass.  No lizards!

Two for the price of one today.

I have new window glass!

When we bought the Casa, we had four windows that were either fully or partially fogged.  That’s when the seal gets broken, whatever inert gas that was inside the double panes leaks out and condensation and dirt leaks in.  You can’t see out of the windows, and you can’t get them clean.

Right after we moved in, we had a visit from a company called Miracle Windows.  They have a great product, seemingly.  Windows you can jump up and down on without breaking them.  Built in screens.

There were only three problems.

One, their opening estimate was $50,000 to replace all the windows in the house.  The fact that, in the same breath, they came down to $25,000 didn’t really inspire me with a desire to hire them.

Two, they lied.  They told us that we could not get replacement windows the full size of our picture windows because this is now against code.  And, they told us that we couldn’t get the bronze color frames we have because this, too, is against code.  I see new construction all over town with bigger windows and bronze frames.  I haven’t checked the code, but I am fairly confident that they lied.

Three, they didn’t mention that they were going to have to cut the coquina stucco to replace the windows or that somebody was going to have to repair and replace that.  I know that adds an additional $250 minimum to the cost per window.

So, that was the end of Miracle Windows.  I’m not the sucker born in the minute they needed.

Having had the glass alone replaced in our NYC co-op apartment after the building next door burnt down several years ago and the glass cracked from the heat, we knew that it is possible to replace only the glass and not the entire window.

We began collecting estimates for that, and—golly!  I think this post is a triple miracle!—the whole job, all four windows (six if you count the upper and lower sections), came in well under $1,000.

I call a savings of $49,000 a miracle, don’t you?

So, Glass Doctor of Jacksonville came out on Friday.  Three hours later, I can sit in my desk chair and see the creek.  The front window looks like somebody could accidentally walk through it.  It’s so clean it’s practically invisible.  I now need curtains or a shade or something for the laundry room window, and upstairs in the Easter Egg Room, the view is clear!

That’s miracle number two.

The third and final miracle?

Those intrepid lizards never once even attempted to take advantage of the big holes in the house occasioned by the removal of the windows.  As far as I can tell—and believe me, I was on lizard patrol—none of them came into the house.

Yay!

I can see clearly now

Through the windows, anyway.

This may be one of those tips that everybody has known for a millenium. . .except me.  On the off chance, however, that you missed it over in your parallel universe, too,  I’m going to pass it on.

I may have mentioned that Casa Lagarto has a lot of windows.

This means, of course, that there are a lot of windows to clean.  It’s true that window cleaning can be put off for a while.  Sometimes a long while.  I suspect all of us have deep sympathy for the cliché household help who states firmly, “I don’t do windows.”

On the other hand, there are times in your life when windows must be “done.”  This is especially true when one of your home’s salient features is the view.

Being a child of my era, I have tended to rely on Windex® as my window-cleaner of choice.  I’ve used some generic versions, and they don’t seem to work so well.  I’ve used vinegar.  It’s okay, but rather pungent.

I have recently stumbled upon—as in, found on the internet—the surprising (to me, anyway) fact that dish detergent works wonders.  Mixed with water, of course, and applied with the kind of squeegee that has a sponge on one side and a rubber blade on the other.

Streak free!

And, I suspect, cheaper than all the specialty cleaners.  I’m saving on paper towels for one thing.

Of course, there are a couple of drawbacks.  A bucket of water is a bit heaver than a squeeze bottle.  And the whole thing is a far drippier process.  (Hint:  Only use the dish soap and water process on the outside of your windows.)

Oh, well.

The windows look good.  I’m settling for that.