Red Flag / White Flag
One of the keys to getting what you want is knowing what you want.
Here’s an inconvenient truth.
To some extent, what you want is what you have.
Human beings have incredible strength and determination. Through the ages, many of us, most of us, have picked ourselves up from less than ideal circumstances and improved our lot. All of us can do that.
And now, I hear the collective response coming.
Yes, but. . .
Yes, but I don’t have the money to start my own business, buy a house, go to college.
Yes, but my parents won’t let me, my teachers don’t think I can, my boyfriend will leave.
Yes, but I’m just not good enough, I don’t know how, I’m too old, too young, too white, too black.
The most polite response to all that is “Hogwash!”
There are, very rarely, a set of circumstances that truly prevent you from doing some things. There are what they call “Acts of God” that visit death and destruction randomly and unfairly on people.
In almost every other case, people are capable of the most extraordinary things.
“Whenever you think something can’t be done, look at Helen Keller.” *
So many people achieve so much by hard work and persistence.
If you’ve hit a roadblock and you’re talking to friends, relatives, colleagues–your support system–about it, chances are those people will begin to offer suggestions on how to overcome the obstacle. If you hear yourself saying,” Yes, but…” to those suggestions, maybe you need to ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this? Or would I rather watch that TV show, take that nap, eat these cookies.”
It all really comes down to this: What do you want most? The “Yes, but–” can be a legitimate way to think through the issue, explore the possibilities in any suggestion. It can also be an indicator that you aren’t yet ready to do what it takes to get what you want.
Unless what comes after the “Yes, but–” is the phrase “it’s illegal” or “somebody could get seriously injured,” the “Yes, but–” is a red flag of danger.
Don’t let it be a white flag of surrender.
